{hallie}lujah: Never Grow Up

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Never Grow Up

(06.14/15.14)

Hallie completed her fourth year at Joy's School of Dance last month. This year, she took ballet and tap again.

Starting around January, the girls began learning their routines for the June recital. For tap, it was a catchy number called Pennies from Heaven. It was adorable and so was the routine. I can't remember at what point I began listening to the song for ballet...but one day the words stuck me. And I felt a prickle of a tear forming in the corner of my eyes.

"Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, just stay this little"...Taylor Swift goes on to sing verses about how innocent a child is, thinking everything is funny...then how she's mortified by her mom taking her to the movies...a mom reminding her to take mental pictures of her childhood...her first apartment. Thank goodness that recital song was spliced or all the other dance moms and myself would have been a sloppier mess than we already were!

I remember the first time we all really listened to the song, peeking in through the viewing window as all our 5-6-7 year olds pointed their toes and swayed to the music, looking incredibly older than they were. We all agreed that we would need tissues come recital night. And we all did.

The first day of Hallie's dance recital, Jonathan stayed home with Harper. The recital was at 2 pm and Harper would not have survived it. Plus, Hallie would be repeating the recital the next day (Father's Day). So I was able to simply enjoy watching Hallie with no one else to interrupt my thoughts, dreams, visions. And as I watched Hallie dance her very best on stage, swaying effortlessly to Taylor Swift's voice, I cried. Happy tears. Hopeful tears...bittersweet tears. I can beg Hal to never grow up, but that's impossible. She will...and I pray she and I both handle it with grace and love.

And I'll always know that in my mind, she will always be "this little".

Sweet ballet friends...